dont make friends with neighbors.

That's a really sick story! The funeral donation thing reminds me of this
woman who used to be always holding a cardboard "funeral donations" sign,
while standing in the median of a busy street in Albuquerque.

I got used to seeing her face after many months had passed, and I can
remember reading her lips saying "Thank you" to all the dummies who
helped to support her whatever addiction, thinking that they were helping
with someone's funeral.

--- Mystic